Excuses. It's the pathway to Hell, disguised as good intentions.
No more, at least not today.
August (and summer) are coming to an end. It's the season I most associate with Mary.
My niece's baby shower come and gone, my stepson's visit over with all too soon. My birthday and my father's passed. It wasn't the same.
Moments she should have shared with us. Sept 11 makes six months. I was talking with my mother Sunday, about how time seems to have flown by, but it feels like she's been gone longer.
Mom's still going through really rough patches. We all are I guess, and we all deal with it differently. I had Rob hang the photo collage full of Mary -- both before her last fight, during and the week she died, still laughing and smiling and fighting. The last picture I have with her. I hate that Dawn didn't want to be in it with me. But I have it, and everyday I see her and say hello. It's made it a little better I think.
Last week was her wedding anniversary. My parents and Dawn and Haley took Dan out to dinner. They shared stories and laughed at good memories, but it will never be the same.
And last Saturday Levi moved away to college. My heart broke and I got all depressed because she missed this, another milestone in her son's life. And yesterday he put on fb that he loves his history class and might consider that as a major. And she's missing these awesome and incredible moments of him starting to discover who he wants to be as an adult. I promised her I would be there for him, for her - and so I'm trying. I'm so proud of that kid :)
And so today I toast to my Mar, my inspiration to keep making goals and doing what I need to to achieve them.
I set up a face book page for my acting career, and a blog as an actor's guide for things of that nature, and hopefully this weekend I will get to setting up Mary's site, her Hope For All. Then it will be finding time to maintain everything. I need more hours. But I feel her give me strength and tell me I'm doing good and that she's proud of me too
